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Ashley Robinson blames ‘Teletubby’ appearance on parental conditioning and no willpower

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I had a light-bulb moment last week. Well, it took a while, but the light bulb eventually came on.

It all started innocently enough with Old Mate telling me that she had ventured to Spotlight in Maroochydore for the first time since it moved from down our end of town.

Now, listening to her, it was like she had driven in peak hour in New Delhi or similar: very stressful going out of her comfort zone of wider Wurtulla.

What she was particularly concerned about was that the bra extenders she had purchased were the wrong type and she now had to take them back – another mission into the abyss.

On this particular day, I was feeling quite generous. So, I offered to return them for her and get a refund – a rare occurrence, much to my dear beloved’s delight.

I had never been to that Maroochydore complex before, as Spotlight is not usually on my to-do list, but off I went.

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It all went to plan and, as I exited the shop, I had a phone call I needed to take. So, I just sat in a chair at the bottom of the escalator talking rubbish on the phone.

Nearly instantly, a nice young man brought me some water – that was quite generous as I thought I was sitting in a common area between shops.

I then realised I was sitting at a table on the very edge of a cafe and, next minute, he came back with a menu. Café 63 was the name, but I had already had breakfast.

I felt compelled to buy something since I was sitting in his chair. I thought maybe a pot of tea.

Unfortunately, the menu had pictures of nice-looking food, which I am a sucker for. I ordered a Full House Omelet without really reading what was in it (and don’t forget, I wasn’t hungry).

It arrived with the tea and it was massive: bacon, two hash browns and two pieces of toast.

The plan was that I would just eat some of it to be polite. But growing up, I wasn’t allowed to leave the table until my plate was empty (which explains a lot).

So, of course, I ate everything and it was outstanding. It was about then that my light bulb came on: the reason I look like a Teletubby is a combination of my parents’ fault and me having zero willpower.

Café 63 is worth a visit but don’t eat before you go there. I wondered whether I should duck upstairs and get the bra extenders back for myself.

Ashley Robinson is Metropolitan Caloundra Surf Club CEO, chairman of Thunder Netball and a lifetime Sunshine Coast resident.

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