I have openly said, over many years, that if I was going to lose a sense, I know which one it would be. I don’t want it to be sight – even though these past few years my arms have had to get longer to read stuff and my long range isn’t as long as I would like.
But for my age, I can still see the things I want to see and enjoy. If it’s something or someone I don’t want to see, saying: “My sight is not great” works for me.
Taste is another one that I would choose to hang on to. Food, beer and tea are all very near and dear to me – which, I am sure, is no surprise.
You guessed it: if I had to lose a sense, it would be hearing. And guess what? It is happening way faster than I like, but my wish has sort of been granted.
I am guessing I am losing hearing because of all the bands I worked in front of in my pub career. Those massive front-of-house speakers have caught up with me.
The reason I would pick hearing as the sense I could live without has always been because I wouldn’t have to listen to Old Mate critique my life as much. And, as I like my own company, I wouldn’t have to respond to people if I can’t hear them. That means no small talk. Excellent!
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Of course there is a problem: Old Mate has beaten me to it. She is way deafer than me. That has foiled my plan of ‘ignorance is bliss’.
It has actually caused some friction around the house as I am frequently told I mumble and that’s why she can’t hear me.
On other occasions, I am told that if I need to converse with Old Mate, I should stand in front of her as she is “going slightly deaf”. On the other hand, she will talk to me while I am vacuuming and cannot understand why I don’t answer her.
I have suggested at times to buy her a brass ear horn – and frequently get told where she would like to shove the said ear horn. During these times of friction, I may say something to myself about her. It is amazing how she can hear that without me standing in front of her (and that can be a problem for me if it’s near feeding time).
I am reminded of a quote: “The deaf believe there is nothing wrong. The hearing believe something needs to be fixed.” In our house, they are both right. It just depends on who you are standing in front of.
Ashley Robinson is Metropolitan Caloundra Surf Club CEO, chairman of Thunder Netball and a lifetime Sunshine Coast resident.
