Listen more than you talk. Nobody learnt anything by hearing themselves speak. So said entrepreneur Sir Richard Branson – or at least that is what the internet claims.
One champion listener is acclaimed documentary maker Louis Theroux, whose latest offering explores the so-called manosphere.
This is the online chat and influencer spaces that promote what the young men who inhabit them describe as ‘traditional’ masculinity, in which men are buff, self-reliant, entrepreneurial and hold a dominant role in any relationship.
The doco is getting a lot of attention, partly because it is on Netflix and partly because of the shock of it: what the young men in it do and say is scary, sexist, judgmental stuff – particularly from those so young and mind-blowingly popular.
Critiques have included some very sharp rebukes – particularly from feminist academics, who claim Theroux missed too many chances to challenge the lost boys and correct their contorted views that women just want a man to care for them, and their role on Earth is to look beautiful, make a home and have babies.
But documentaries are primarily meant to be edifying. They are a chance to peek into the corners of the world that a viewer may not have known much about. The teaching they do is via observation. They do not tell so much as show.
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In online spaces that are so crowded with everyday people pontificating and telling the world how life should be lived, documentaries such as this are a chance to watch and listen, not screech and preach.
And this is what makes Theroux so good: he asks uncomfortable questions, then listens to the responses. He lets his subjects roll in their own mud, rather than throwing it at them.
Certainly, the statements made by manosphere masters are upsetting and shocking.
Certainly, we should all be concerned that these influencers are followed by so many young men that they can only be seen as religious leaders for the modern age.
And yes, more must be done to quell such backwards and destructive beliefs in our society. But let that be the result of artful documentary storytelling, not the overt intention of it. Theroux’s doco lets us listen, watch and decide.
What a fabulous way to learn and recalibrate our own moral compasses.
Dr Jane Stephens is a UniSC journalism lecturer, media commentator and writer.
