It is time to try a social experiment regarding relationships. Since writing in this publication I have lifted the profile of George, my four-legged companion, and Old Mate, who loves to go under the radar but is mentioned to me daily over things I write about her.
The latter is the focus of the experiment, as something strange happened a couple of days ago. She was wrong, which was a shock to both parties.
But even more startling was that she admitted it and apologised.
I must say, my heart nearly stopped after 42 years of being together. I could count on one hand how many times she has been wrong.
Now, I have noticed over the past few years that there has been a real microscopic inspection of anything I wash up.
If there is any blemish on cups, dishes or cutlery, I am summoned to the sink and an explanation is required.
On the other hand, if I wipe up her washing up stuff and find a problem, I just fix it.
If I am in a playful mood, I might mention it on occasion and the response is always the same: that it was in the water, not missed by the operator.
Of course, my vacuuming gets the same attention, depending on what mood Old Mate is in.
Lids on Tupperware, folding and other menial tasks that I am obviously poor at have always been scrutinised.
My driving, though, has come under intense scrutiny in the past few years to the point where it is like having a traffic cop sitting in the passenger seat – an aggressive, officious one, to say the least.
Another thing that has happened lately is that apparently I now mumble.
I have trouble talking properly, as Old Mate can’t understand me. It has nothing to do with her being deaf, of course.
Here is the social experiment I want to conduct.
I am trying to ascertain whether I am on my own with this – that I am a mumbling idiot who can’t wash up vacuum, drive or anything else that I used to be able to do when we first met (apart from folding and lids, which I have never been able to conquer).
Or is there more to it? Is it the 42 years thing or is it possible that Old Mate is not always right?
I want to know if I am “married to your partner’s sister” or am I “your partner’s brother”.
Email tugboatash@gmail.com. I think I already know the answer.
Ashley Robinson is chairman of the Sunshine Coast Falcons and Sunshine Coast Thunder Netball, and a lifetime Sunshine Coast resident.
