Ashley Robinson: shopping's not my bread and butter, as a trip to the supermarket highlighted

I may have mentioned the scrutiny I am under when I do the shopping.

Well, last week nearly took the cake – in fact, it was butter: soft Western Star Original.

After you read this, you will probably understand A) the scrutiny and B) that ‘soft’ was not just the butter but the stuff between my ears.

A simple task was set from Old Mate: “While you are at the shops, get a tub of butter. It’s on special for $4.80”.

Sounds simple, doesn’t it?

I had a look at the butter in the fridge and off I went.

I got there and immediately forgot whether the container was red or blue.

Blue looked familiar.

So, off I lined up at the 12 items-or-less counter, behind a woman who had about 20 items, and finally got to Amy: the nice lady at the checkout.

She looked me in the eye and all of a sudden, I had doubt.

Was it blue or red?

So, I aborted.

I went back to the butter, rang Old Mate and was told, “The red one, you idiot. We have been having the same butter for decades.”

I grabbed it quickly, headed to Amy, behind a guy with 30 items in the express lane, and waited patiently.

Amy served me and rang up $7. As I took the receipt, I panicked.

Amy told me I had the 500g container: the 375g was on special.

I quickly did the maths and realised it was about 30 cents dearer.

So, with fear ringing in my ears, I handed the money to her, but headed back to get the right one.

The box was empty.

I headed back to the checkouts, deciding to get a refund.

Amy said she would look to make sure they were out of stock.

She came back empty handed and gave me a refund.

Poor Amy!

I rang Old Mate to see if she wanted another brand. “There is another shelf full of them near the nut stand,” she told me.

Back I went, and bingo!

Old Mate was correct as usual.

So, back to poor Amy and then off I went home.

I reckon I would have got a mention at Amy’s dinner table that night, which is quite appropriate: the guy who took 45 minutes to buy one tub of soft butter.

So, for the unskilled shopper, it worked out that if I had bought the 500g, I would have been paying 1.2 cents per gram more, costing 45 cents more than the one on special.

Old Mate would be so proud.

And Amy had the patience of a saint.

Thanks, Coles Birtinya.

Ashley Robinson is chairman of Sunshine Coast Falcons and Sunshine Coast Thunder Netball and a lifetime Sunshine Coast resident. The opinions expressed are those of the author. These are not the views of Sunshine Coast News.