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Jane Stephens: a few rules to remember when hitting the beach

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It is the time for the summertime crush, when all roads lead to the beach. We march like ones possessed to congregate, dip, float and worship the glorious sun.

A beach is a leveller: egalitarian, open, non-judgemental. The ocean offers the same saltwater salve, regardless of whether you are an executive director or a garbo. We love that about it.

But the seashore is also the most popular show in town, so here is fistful of reminders.

Swim between the red and yellow flags. Yes, there may be lots of people, but maybe turn that frown upside down and remember there is safety in numbers.

Also, if lifesavers or lifeguards can’t see you, they can’t save you. Lean into the togetherness and stay un-drowned.

Tattoos are not a substitute for sunscreen. The beach is a great place to strip down and show off works of body art, but tatts can make it harder to see a wonky spot.

So, sunscreen up to avoid being fried, sorry, and having to have your artwork cut up down the track.

When needing to shake the sand from the towels, assess wind direction and scan those nearby lying prone. It is impolite to cover them in sticky sand and not care a jot about it.

The same awareness applies to cricket, volleyball and other sand-raising activities, and also the kind of wind that breaks (you get my drift).

Slip, slop, slap or your body art might require alteration in the future. Picture: Shutterstock

If you bring stuff, take the residue home. A few empty bottles nestled in the sand may look cool in a beer commercial, but if left in real life they are yucky.

If you open a muesli bar or packet of chips, be sure those teeny shards of plastic wrap are all accounted for.

Also, turtles have been known to confuse beach rubbish for food, and everyone should care about the turtles.

Watch your kids. Yes, there are lots of people around and yes, patrolling lifesavers are as reliable as the day is long.

But this is not the time to lose yourself in that summer novel or have a little nap and presume others will take on babysitting duties.

Make sure the kiddies are not terrorising others, kicking sand, setting bobby traps or digging a hole to China.

Be kind to each other, stay safe and have a merry Christmas.

Dr Jane Stephens is a UniSC journalism lecturer, media commentator and writer.

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