My kid stapled his own finger.
He properly put a whole staple into his index finger and needed a doctor to pull it from his little hand.
I think it hurt my heart more than it hurt him.
The night before, my dog had diarrhoea and then I forgot to collect my daughter from dance lessons.
She waited 60 minutes for Mother of the Year to appear.
So the next day was meant to be a better day, but the universe missed that memo.
Yes, my 10-year-old son somehow managed to whack a staple in his own finger and there it stayed while he waited in the school sick bay to be taken to a doctor.
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The medical team at Medicine on Second were amazing.
My boy got the green whistle and was pretty plucky as they plucked that staple out of his finger.
The medical staff of the Coast must think I am not raising the smartest of kids as we have had quite a run of incidents when it comes to my kids putting things where they do not belong.
When my daughter was five years old she shoved a sultana up her nose and there it stayed firmly wedged.
It involved a trip to the hospital and talk of surgery, but finally came out with a long pair of pliers and my hysterical daughter wrapped up in a straight jacket to stop her thrashing.
Then my youngest son pierced his own ear when he was four years old with one of my earrings.
He told the doctor he wanted to look like me.
The same kid swallowed a marble because he thought it was a grape.
Thank goodness that saga passed when the marble passed.
And my daughter sprayed cockroach spray all over herself thinking it was sunscreen. It burnt her pristine skin.
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Kids love to put things where they do not belong.
We have found bubble gum shoved inside the DVD player. I once located my drivers license in the toaster.
And do not even get me started on the strange places they hide rubbish instead of taking it to the bin.
On a positive note, at least my son who stapled his finger is yet to discover super glue.
What could go wrong when he does?
Sami Muirhead is a radio announcer, blogger and commentator. For more from Sami, tune into Mix FM.
