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Ashley Robinson found a friend in Apple’s voice-activated virtual assistant but there’s one drawback

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I had a bizarre day last week. It started with a trip to watch our granddaughter run in her Year 4 cross country at Talara Primary College.

Now, she is a dead-set sprinter but has a crack at everything. She told her father she was going to sprint out in front, get a lead and see what happens. Her dad told her it was not a great idea – “maybe you should pace yourself” – which went down like a lead balloon.

So, Old Mate and I headed off to watch her. As I was driving, listening to my messages on Siri, I became aware that Old Mate had added another string to her bow as a passenger: not only working part-time for the Highway Patrol, telling me how many road rules I was breaking, but also now reprimanding me about talking over Siri.

“Bloody hell, it’s a computer,” I said. But Old Mate went on about how she knows how Siri feels, as I talk over her as well.

The race went exactly how our little champion planned, apart from the end. She was 100m in front at the start and held that until they ran out of sight. But when they came back, she was sixth. I had to admit, a pretty solid effort with no training. As expected, she does what she wants – despite any advice. It was funny. A lasting memory.

Later in the day, I was getting ready to go to the Mix FM radio station where I do a little session with Sami and Friends – always fun. Old Mate had an appointment as well.

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She was leaving before me but pointed out that my hair needed a trim. I explained that my trimmers were not for haircuts, just trimming, and she wouldn’t have time. But she decided to give me a haircut anyway.

Well, half a haircut until the trimmers died and she had to leave, telling me: “I will do the rest when I get back.” I reminded her that I had to go to the studio. “Oops. I forgot. Wear a hat,” was the reply, with hysterical laughter, adding that I looked like a monk.

After she left, I tried to fix it but wasn’t confident. I went off to the studio looking like Friar Tuck with a baseball cap. Fantastic.

It’s a family curse: no one listens. They all know everything. Heaven forbid I talk over them while they’re enlightening me.

I never have this trouble with Siri. She is rarely upset – apart from when I mumble and she can’t understand me – the only thing she has in common with Old Mate.

If only Siri could cook.

Ashley Robinson is Metropolitan Caloundra Surf Club CEO, chairman of Thunder Netball and a lifetime Sunshine Coast resident.

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