I have a couple of allergies. I am dead-set allergic to pain, which sort of makes sense that I am scared of dentists.
It all started when I was a little kid and my dad took me to the dentist: a nice lady with a beard and really bad breath.
She decided that while I was there to pull out one tooth, she may as well take the lot, seeing as they were baby teeth.
Now, I can remember clearly not only the beard and the bad breath but also the fact the when she gave me the needle, it leaked all over my face.
That probably explains why I felt every tooth getting pulled out and also why they had to hold me down to complete the task.
Because I am a coward, I never went back to a dentist until ‘Old Mate’ talked me into going to the late great Paul Kelly, who babied me through until I could go without wanting to run out the door.
But to this day, I still have a habit of putting off dental appointments until I really have to go – even though my dentist and staff are very caring professional souls with not a beard in sight.
Flying was another one. I used to get so stressed to the point I would be nearly sitting in the lap of the person next to me on take-off and landing.
I thought I had an allergy for flight as I used to poo like a newborn baby for days during and after. But after a conversation with a captain who wrote a book about pilots with a fear of flying (go figure!), I worked out it was claustrophobia as I would always sit in a window seat.
As soon as I changed to an aisle seat, the anxiety and poo the colour of Donald Trump’s hair disappeared.
Now being scared of confined spaces is pretty much manageable. But it does get a bit scary when I go for an MRI, which freaks me out a bit, as well as the staff who are doing it when I tell them they may have to taser me.
Lifts are okay, as long as they are not full or break down mid-floor – then, there could be a problem.
So if you get in a lift with a bloke who looks like he went 15 rounds with Mike Tyson (and lost every one of them) and it breaks down, you better hope someone has a taser or a nappy – or there could be trouble.
Ashley Robinson is chairman of the Sunshine Coast Falcons and Sunshine Coast Thunder Netball, and a lifetime Sunshine Coast resident.
