There is some crap on television. No, I may not be talking about Phil Gould this time, but lifestyle shows. It seems there are shows about everything – just to fill in space.
Speaking of filling in space, shows on hoarding spring to mind: Hoarders, Hoarders Buried Alive, Hoarders SOS, The Hoarder Next Door, just to name a few.
I might have an addition to the list: The Hoarder I Live With.
Yes, Old Mate is a hoarder and every time I question her on it, I get the same response: “When you retire, we won’t have to buy anything – we will already have it.”
Old Mate proudly comes from a long line of op shoppers who have a nose for a bargain, whether we need it or not.
Now, this is the problem: when we decide to declutter an area of our rambling, dusty old house, she takes three bags of stuff to the op shop and comes back with four bags.
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I must admit, I have been conditioned over four decades with this and only occasionally notice the predicament we are in.
But the other day when I was changing the bed linen, I was told that the mattress protector needed washing. Old Mate informed me there was a new one in a tub in the garage.
The expression, “Going down that rabbit hole” sprung to mind.
Down we went, and let me tell you it was a bloody big rabbit that made the hole as we went through tubs and tubs of linen – enough to supply Enoggera Army Barracks and there would have still been some left over. Bloody hell.
And guess what? While we found everything else, we didn’t find the mattress protector.
This ‘Episode 1’ of The Hoarder I Live With got off to a flying start. There were a few arguments, some fairly intensive sighing and deep breathing from yours truly and an eventual trip to Lifeline with a ute full of sheets, pillowcases and other bedding that had never been used and would never be used unless I became suddenly incontinent in a big way.
We now have about 20 empty tubs that I am keeping a close eye on (to make sure they stay empty).
Episode 2 could be about the wardrobe in the spare room that is actually another pantry full of food and dry goods that were ‘on special’ – so, she bought 10-times more than we need. I reckon this new series might rate pretty well.
Ashley Robinson is Mets Caloundra CEO, chairman of Thunder Netball and a lifetime Sunshine Coast resident.
