I had another lesson the other day – well, a bit of a self-awareness lesson – from Old Mate. I was asking where something was in the fridge and I was on the receiving end of a barrage about why we don’t have watermelon, rockmelon, pineapple or anything else that requires cutting up.
I was told that she had stopped buying anything that required effort to eat, or anything that required being cut up or cleaned before consumption because apparently if she didn’t cut it up or cleaned it, it was left untouched by me.
I must say, she did have a point. But I tried to explain to her that it’s a bit like folding, or our Tupperware cupboard and resealable bags: if it wasn’t done exactly how Old Mate does it, there would be problem for yours truly. So, yes, she was right about the fruit and me not touching it: unless she cut it up, it just wasn’t worth the drama in my life.
To make my point, I did add that even when she did cut it up, I was still challenged by putting the lid back on the container in the correct manner. So, I agreed that any fruit that needed to be dissected was better left at the store so we could both get on with our lives.
After that discussion started to fizzle out, Old Mate moved on to the freezer, saying that unless it jumped out and bit me on the arse, I was reluctant to go digging anything out. I reminded her that I did know where the ice creams were. But again, that makes me nervous as some of them I’m not allowed to touch: they are for her and the grandkids.
Sometimes after a few beers, I get brave and go into the freezer and hide the ice-cream wrapper but she still knows I did it. So, I barred myself from the freezer as well. I think she must stocktake the bloody things or there is a camera somewhere.
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By this time, she had a real spring in her step and I only had one last chance of defence. I mentioned that she did not know everything. I got a hostile but quizzical look in return but I pushed on. I said, “What about when I ask you, ‘What’s for dinner?’ and you have no idea what you cooked and later froze until it is defrosted (or for that matter, how long it had been in there).”
She smiled and let it go at that.
When she reads this, I wonder what will be for dinner …
Ashley Robinson is chairman of the Sunshine Coast Falcons and Sunshine Coast Thunder Netball, and a lifetime Sunshine Coast resident.
