It appears that in 2026, I am very dangerous. Last weekend, I was doing my usual monthly volunteer lifesaving patrol, thankfully backed up by some very competent members and I found that every time I wandered along the beach, something happened.
An elderly lady who twisted her ankle was the first person needing assistance. A 75-year-old who came unstuck on his boogie board and ended up with some rib damage was the next victim.
Then, just before my shift ended, I went for another stroll to fill in time and watch the surfers at the rock wall. Just as I was about to head back, two boardriders collided and one ended up with a nose that was well on the way to looking like mine.
The working week started with me and George heading off for our early morning walk. Just as we started out, I heard this massive bang, looked up and, about 100m up the road, a cyclist was on the tar. He was rolling around in agony, still connected to his bike, while his little gang just pedalled away with no idea their back marker had been snipered by a long-term parked caravan (one of my pet hates).
I yelled out to them to stop but they were too busy gossiping among themselves to hear me. By the time I got to the man down, my neighbour and an off-duty lifeguard had both arrived to help him. The 74-year-old male had somehow ridden straight into the back of the van and hurt his shoulder and maybe his head.
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After we got the cyclist settled and answered the same questions a few times about where he was and what had happened, we decided the best course of action was to take the damaged bike home to my neighbour’s house and wait for the ambulance. Then, the victim started asking where his bike was, which we explained on several occasions until help arrived.
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At no stage did his gang come back looking for him. But that afternoon, I rang the neighbour to find out if the bike had been picked up. He said two of the group had turned up but one of them treated him like he had stolen the bloody thing.
Three points to come out of this: boys, maybe you need to have a head count before you go home; vans and trailers shouldn’t be left on the side of the road – and stay away from me as bad things happen.
Ashley Robinson is chairman of the Sunshine Coast Falcons and Sunshine Coast Thunder Netball, and a lifetime Sunshine Coast resident.
