English is such a wondrous language. And while those of us in professional communications spend a great deal of time selecting the right words to convey our intended meaning, or analysing the way they are arranged, we can say so much without saying much at all.
In media, interviewees often say “I mean” at the start of a response – a psycholinguistic filler that enables them to gather their thoughts while loading the space.
Saying “and so forth” at the end of a sentence does the same thing.
“To be perfectly honest” buys a good three seconds.
And if you are a teenager, throwing around “like” as if it were confetti meets dual needs of stereotype and time buying.
Then, there is pseudo-profundity: the art of sounding profound but saying nothing.
“Death comes to us all” is one example. “Love is just a word” is another. But my favourite word, weaselry, is when people shimmy through the civility space, sounding like they are following the conventions of manners and courtesy, yet avoiding them.
“I would like to compliment you on your outfit” sounds kind but avoids saying anything complimentary at all. Similarly, “I would like to apologise” offers a salve to those who were offended but fails to actually deliver the apology.
Some insults you may not know are invectives include archaic words for common personality traits and behaviours, such as “cumberworld” for a useless person; or “gnashgab” for a whinger.
Other insults that are less obvious are sarcastic phrases, including Shakespeare’s “you kiss by the book” or sophisticated words such as “fatuous” for a silly person.
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And then there are wordsmiths who are just plain clever as well as humorous.
“I will not have a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent” takes a moment for the defenceless person to comprehend.
Or, to a vacant-looking person: “If I gave you a penny for your thoughts, I’d get change back” or “You look like you come from a close family”.
But verbosity can also be cutting: “I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain this to you” or “the closest you will come to a brainstorm is a light drizzle”.
Dressing up language in fancy clothes doesn’t mean the person is smarter, but it may mean they have a sense of humour. We should always make more room for that.
Dr Jane Stephens is a UniSC journalism lecturer, media commentator and writer.
