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Ashley Robinson discovers the painful truth behind a debilitating disease

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Bona Gout is probably not a name you would recognise. But if I said he was athletic superstar Gout Gout’s dad, you probably would.

When the young bloke hit the headlines, his dad was quite concerned about how his son’s stardom could be impacted by his name – a name that, when translated from their origins in southern Sudan, is directly related to an illness.

I certainly know where Bona is coming from as gout is a very unattractive, debilitating illness that is the complete opposite of his gifted son.

I have something in common with Gout Gout: I have the unattractive illness (not the speed).

Over the past decade, I have had brief encounters with something in my right ankle that I have been told could be arthritis or gout. And it could be inflamed by something I am eating or drinking – even the weather.

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It usually lasts a day or two, and I thought I had narrowed it down to roma tomatoes (although Old Mate would love it to be beer – but my answer to that is, if it were beer, I would be limping every day).

I did go to a kinesiologist who did the test where I hang on to something I like in one outstretched arm and she pushes my other arm down if it’s bad for me.

She was 50 kilos and I was 100 kilos with a tomato in one hand. No matter how hard I tried, she pushed my other arm down. Thankfully, she couldn’t do it with beer in my hand.

Anyway, I have never been totally convinced that it is gout until the other day.

I had an episode that, at the time of writing, is still a thing – confirming that it is 100 per cent gout.

I woke up on Sunday night after being involved in the Lift the Lid for Mental Health walk in excruciating pain and, going by Dr Google, it was Gout 101: swollen cankle, hot to touch, highly sensitive and limited to zero movement. It was a bit tender the morning of the walk but went to another level that night.

As I lay in blinding pain I thought: “Why is it so?”

I had a Cincinnati chilli pie for lunch – on impulse, as I walked past the baker. And also impromptu, I had chilli chicken as I walked past an Asian takeaway that afternoon.

So, it’s chilli, not beer? It has been nearly a week of pain that is slowly receding … which basically means it arrived like Gout Gout at pace and is leaving like Tugboat leaves a buffet: very slowly indeed.

Ashley Robinson is chairman of the Sunshine Coast Falcons and Sunshine Coast Thunder Netball, and a lifetime Sunshine Coast resident.

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