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Ashley Robinson knows no good can come of a husband left to his own devices – especially with a credit card

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I was a guest with Sami on Mix FM and we had a caller phone in about weekend warrior war wounds – people who had hurt themselves doing something they either shouldn’t have been doing or who had had a mishap.

It all came about because one of her friends left her husband alone for one hour. He decided to do some welding and he set his prosthetic leg on fire. Once he realised where the smoke was coming from, he put it out with his hands.

Luckily, the only real damage was to the leg – a miracle. And even though it was serious, it became quite funny as the wife was incredulous about what could happen to a husband unsupervised.

The calls were mostly from women about their husbands, but there was one male caller. The best of the wives’ calls was about one husband who decided to pressure wash his beehive but didn’t check to see if it was occupied. Of course, there was no vacancy and he got swarmed upon.

I was crying/laughing, thinking I had heard it all, until the last caller who told a story about going to the pub before the NRL grand final. He had a few beers before going home and then had a few more. “How many?” we asked. “A carton,” he replied.

He then went on to say his wife made him sleep in the spare room because of the state he was in.

So, after the Broncos won, he said he went to bed but never bothered to turn the light on. He dived on the bed but it wasn’t there: the family had decided to move the bed and redecorate.

“I landed on the floor after bouncing off the wall and woke up the next day on the floor with a sore shoulder,” he told us.

The funniest part was that he was quite indignant that no one had told him they had shifted the bed – nothing at all to do with beers he had.

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I think I may have called him, or the beehive massacre man, an idiot but, in hindsight, I don’t have a great track record about being left home alone.

In one incidence (not an accident, just stupidity) in the early ’80s while babysitting Lucas, we were watching TV and it blew up – as did Lucas.

To stop him crying, we went to the shop and bought a new stereo TV that had just been released at triple the price. I had no money but a Bankcard.

Lucas stopped crying when we got it home, but I started crying when Old Mate returned. Idiot signing off.

Ashley Robinson is chairman of the Sunshine Coast Falcons and Sunshine Coast Thunder Netball, and a lifetime Sunshine Coast resident.

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