Hallelujah. The parenting pendulum is finally swinging back to real life.
Over recent generations, there have been multiple models for raising kids such as the helicopter (hover and praise), tiger (be strict and expect high achievement) and gentle (quietly, kindly correct), and now there is a tougher brand in town: FAFO.
It stands for “F— around and find out” – and I say ALL: at long last.
The approach may just help correct the soft and wishy-washy gentle parenting style that stuffed up Gen Z.
FAFO (pronounced faff-oh) is based in the idea that parents ask and/or warn, but if a kid breaks the rules, mum and dad let the repercussions fall where they will. Sounds sensible, right? Sounds, dare I say it, like how Gen X was raised.
Don’t like the dinner you are given? You will be hungry by breakfast. Didn’t remember your hat today? No playing in the sun for you. Didn’t remember to put your homework in your bag? Looks like detention for you.
It is for parents who are exhausted from riding the emotional rollercoaster with toddlers, teenagers and those in between. They are tired of rescuing, soothing and taking responsibility for their child’s stuff-ups. Gentle parenting has led to a generation of kids who are doughy and dependent: a generational disaster.
So now they can say “FAFO” and know others worldwide are doing the same.
Clinical psychologist and YouTube parenting guru Dr Becky Kennedy says FAFO is derived from letting go a little and letting the kid stumble sometimes, because with some love and a bit of explaining, they will be better for it.
Do you have an opinion to share? Submit a Letter to the Editor at Sunshine Coast News via news@sunshinecoastnews.com.au. You must include your name and suburb.
Sure parents should pick their age-and-ability appropriate battles, but this is all about helping kids experience consequences.
Being allowed to struggle is important and helping kids become resilient is what parents should do.
You are still on their team and you still love them to bits, but FAFO parenting also allows a kid to feel a lot of the feels without you running interference.
Parents are raising adults, not children, and the best parents work their way out of the job by the time their children are grown.
A little FAFO could go a long way towards that.
Dr Jane Stephens is a UniSC journalism lecturer, media commentator and writer.
