In our family, I am legendary at a few things – not in a good way.
For example, back in the ’90s, I was in between jobs when Old Mate worked at GJ Gardner Homes.
So, she got me a job doing final cleans and also putting in clothes hoists at new homes.
It was all good until I cleaned the windows in a new house with turps and not metho.
Talk about a drama.
It looked like a blizzard had hit the glass.
After that episode, I moved on to the clothesline.
That was okay if you were 6’3” (190cm): I had dug the hole with the hoist fully down so when you wound it up, you needed to stand on a box to hang the washing.
Needless to say, that career was short lived.
I am also famous for brushing my teeth with Amolin, Rectinol and other things that shouldn’t be in your mouth, as well as using hair spray or Glen 20 as deodorant – all because I won’t wear my glasses.
I mention this because last week I added to my status of legend.
Firstly, early in the week, I was watching TV with my pink headphones on (they were free) and Old Mate decided I looked like the Teletubbies.
I must say, it was a pretty accurate call.
I was a dead ringer for the red one, Po, with my jimjams on!
So, I have had to endure that all week, which was quite uncomfortable – and only outweighed by a skin issue that had developed.
Freckle-face me has always had dry skin but just the past couple of weeks, I had taken to blistering on my face like sunburn.
I couldn’t figure it out.
Dr Google told me I probably had eczema.
That made sense as I have had some stress and looking in the mirror, seeing one of the Teletubbies, hadn’t helped, I told myself.
The condition continued to get worse.
So, I kept rubbing on this new moisturiser that I got a couple of weeks earlier.
Then the penny dropped.
I put my glasses on and read the label.
It was actually shower gel, not moisturiser, which explained why sometimes it became a little soapy when I applied it.
It also explained why I had shed more skin than a bloody carpet snake.
So, the legend continues to grow.
I really do need to start wearing my glasses.
Maybe I could become the Teletubbies’ fifth member: pink headphones, thick glasses and a massive gut – called GOAT.
Ashley Robinson is chairman of the Sunshine Coast Falcons and Sunshine Coast Thunder Netball, and a lifetime Sunshine Coast resident.
