I wrote recently about embarrassing moments that I have got myself into.
I was referring to a striptease I had to do down to my budgie smugglers to surprise (shock) a blindfolded Foz from Sea FM.
I initially said no when his partner-in-crime Brooke hit me up about it but reluctantly agreed if there were no cameras.
That all changed the night before when they decided to live stream it.
But hey: what could possibly go wrong?
I am nearly 67: I have had worse things happen.
So, I did it – much to the horror of some family members and a few friends.
On a scale of 1-10, it was up there: maybe 8.
Was it worse than my very first childhood memory of being in a cot on the edge of a paddock where my mum was picking beans for a neighbour?
That’s as clear as if it was yesterday, with me crying, and the neighbour coming over to see what the problem was and realising by sight and smell it was a job for Edna (a very full nappy from a very fat, little kid).
That was embarrassing.
Was it worse than bonnet surfing in the car park of the yacht club as a drunken teenager and actually getting run over by the same car and waking up in hospital?
Was it worse than coming home about eight hours after I should have after playing footy and going straight to sleep after possibly vomiting beside the bed, with Old Mate going outside to get the garden hose and spraying me with it while I was snoring?
Or the time I split my suit pants at a wedding when I accidentally sat on an umbrella and nearly did some serious damage?
Are you getting the general idea?
This list could go on for pages and pages and, as I am writing, I remember the time at a Christmas party at Mooloolaba Hotel when I got up and sang Up Where We Belong with my mates from Rum Jungle and actually thought I did a better job than Joe Cocker until I saw a video of it the next day.
Thank goodness there was no social media back then.
So, compare that to the budgie smuggler debacle and there’s no contest: the singing was way worse.
I am reminded about the last verse: “Time goes by, no time to cry, life’s you and I, alive today.”
So live life, budgie smugglers or not.
Thanks, Joe Cocker.
I feel better already.
Ashley Robinson is chairman of the Sunshine Coast Falcons and Sunshine Coast Thunder Netball, and a lifetime Sunshine Coast resident.
