Slowly moving into retirement has its benefits and challenges.
I am not quite sure which one outweighs the other.
Sure, more time with the grandkids is a plus, but more time with Old Mate could be a minus.
I haven’t figured that part out yet.
My worlds could be about to collide shortly with the possibility that I will be required to be home 24/7, helping with all things to do with bird tending.
Now, this job would be difficult if Old Mate was away.
But in this case, it’s far worse as she also will be there 24/7, supervising me.
That means the ‘worlds collide’ metaphor is more like a massive meteor heading straight for me and there is nothing I can do about dodging it.
I can only imagine what the commentary will be like: “No, you don’t fold those covers like that. Grab them by the corners. They won’t pack away if you don’t fold them like I tell you to. How thick are you?”
And that will be the start of the day. It will all be downhill from there.
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The day will be taken up by not putting lids on properly, not unpacking Tupperware containers correctly, not finding them or putting them in the right place (which is wherever she decides that place is).
Then there’s hanging washing on the line in the correct manner, washing up the right way … and the list goes on – a bit like the commentary.
I can already feel the heat from that looming meteor that has Tugboat’s name all over it.
With this in mind, I probably need to find a hobby or, better still, a paying gig that will keep me out of her hair once we get through this little speed bump in life.
Since Old Mate became a teetotaller, she frowns upon my beer consumption.
So I reckon I have the perfect solution: a podcast about beer.
I was always going to do one and call it ‘The Beer Man’, talk about the million micro brewers on the Coast and beyond (and let me tell you, ‘beyond’ is good!).
But that name is taken, so ‘Tugboat’s Ales’ might work.
It will get me out of the house, and nearly give me a valid reason to have a beer.
I am a genius. What a cunning plan. I just have to hope someone will like it.
And that’s, of course, if I get through the pending meteor thing, or I might have to change it to ‘Tugboat’s Ails’.
Ashley Robinson is the manager of Alex Surf Club and the chairman of the Sunshine Coast Falcons.
