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Ashley's city hall fundraiser: 'If you're ignorant, we've got a beaut tax just for you!'

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There has been plenty of talk about how much the new council building is costing and whether we really need it, as we already have one in Nambour and another in Caloundra.

I think those who planned it are a lot smarter than me and we elected the council to do a job, so I guess we should let them do it.

I do have an idea for raising some funds to pay for it and I think it would be a booming business if the council introduced an ‘Ignorant Tax’.

Form a team of rangers and let them loose. Top of the list would be lycra-clad cyclists, riding three abreast, discussing the fabric of their outfits. It would be a good place to start.

Then there are those people who walk two or three abreast on footpaths, making the rest of us get out of their way, with not a blink of the eye, because it is apparently all about them.

Petrol stations would be a good source, too: the folk who, instead of paying and moving their car, decide to browse in the shop, eventually pay the bill then get in the car, check their hair, adjust the mirror, put there receipt away somewhere, buckle their seatbelts like they are cracking the Rubik’s Cube and then move off slowly.

One of the really big revenue-raisers would be walkways, parks and parking. There are plenty of unsuspecting victims out there to fill the coffers of the council.

For instance, there should be a massive tax on those ignorant souls who can’t clean the barbecues in the park after they have used them.

You know the type. They use the free gas. They plug stuff into the free electricity and leave the cooktop like the last person to use it was Hannibal Lecter.

Then there is the rubbish around the picnic areas. Forget about persecuting dog owners. I find morons who leave rubbish everywhere far more obscene than someone having a latte at a café with their dog. In fact, as long as the dog isn’t humping my leg while I’m having a bite to eat, I don’t have a problem.

The largest fine in the ‘Ignorant Tax’ portfolio should be saved for those wonderful people who park in handicapped zones with the excuse that they “will be only there for a couple of minutes”.

Anyone who parks in a handicapped zone – with their only disability being stupidity – should be hit with the biggest fine of all.

So, councillors, if you concentrate on this new tax, the new building will be paved with gold in no time, because I am sure there are plenty of people out there with some more qualifiers for this broad-ranging new revenue-raiser.

It’s a bit like inflation at the moment: a growing concern.

Ashley Robinson is a columnist with Sunshine Coast News and My Weekly Preview. His views are his own.

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