Independent and FREE - 2021 Best Online Publication

Ashley: things go from bad to worse with takeaway

Independent and FREE – 2021 Best Online Publication (Qld Country Press)

Ashley: things go from bad to worse with takeaway


Ashley: a rare trip for takeaway turned into a surprising and confusing ordeal

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And the band played on.

Well, not exactly a band, more like a tale of woe continued to grow.

Recovering from COVID, tick.

Next cab off the rank was a scan for some neck issues I have had for many years.

I had to go for a scan at Caloundra with the wonderful crew at X-Ray & Imaging, which I had put off for a couple of weeks.

I delayed it because I had been recovering from COVID and I don’t really like getting scans or putting my head in anything smaller than a hula-hoop.

Now, I might mention that sticking my head in a scrum for about 20 years caused the problems, which actually means I am a slow learner, but these days I’m not keen to stick my head into anything.

At this stage, I should probably mention I am claustrophobic.

A takeaway meal gave Ashley Robinson a real surprise. Picture: Shutterstock.

Now the nice lady told me how long it would take and what would happen, which is helpful as I usually try and count things or take my mind off what is happening by dreaming about something nice.

Did I mention that Kentucky Fried was two doors up and I could smell the Colonel from where I was lying?

I haven’t had chook from there for years, so I dreamt about a visit directly after the scan if I survived.

So, I was counting chicken pieces as the machine whizzed around my melon and I survived.

As promised, I raced next door and was puzzled about what to order as things had changed since my last visit.

A Zinger Bowl looked good so I ordered what I thought was a bowl but got a box.

I must have mumbled.

Four bits of spicy chicken, chips, gravy and a burger – awesome.

I inhaled the pieces first and then took a massive bite of the burger.

ashley robinson sunshine coast news
Alex Surf Club general manager Ashley Robinson.

I had no idea what was in it.

Something caught in my throat, I started gagging, immediately thinking that I survived the scan only to be taken out by the Colonel with an errant chicken bone.

Eventually, I go with swallowing as I couldn’t hack it up, thinking about how that was going to hurt coming out the other end, but then I realised it was a corn chip.

It’s the Zinger Bowl basically in a bun?

Finger lickin’ good may be the resurrected slogan but I want to know what genius decided to put corn chips in a burger.

The Colonel would be appalled.

Ashley Robinson is a columnist with Sunshine Coast News and My Weekly Preview. His views are his own.