There is always a critic in your family, isn’t there? You should hear my husband snort and chuckle and lovingly berate me when he unpacks the dishwasher if I have stacked the thing. Which is often.
I have stacked more dishwashers in the last decade than most have had cups of tea. I am a shove-it-in and get-it-done kind of stacker. The more the merrier. The fry pan can go on the top or bottom shelf and if I can squeeze little cups underneath it, I take it as a victory.
I hurl that cutlery in any way, up or down is fine. I whirl in the plates and they can touch each other if they want.
It’s cleaning, not an event with COVID-safe social distancing, people! They are all going to be cleaned and the worst-case scenario is that I may have to wash one or two dirty items again. I like to walk on the wild side.
My husband is a neat dishwasher stacker and has a sense of superiority that his way is the right way. But I argue every time his way takes 10 times longer and who has time for that?
My neat-freak plate police even stoops so low as to restack the dishwasher behind my back. I hear this is common foul play in marriages.
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Sometimes I will open the dishwasher to see a pixie has been in the middle of the night to make things inside all neat and orderly. A pixie wearing tracksuit pants and size eleven male shoes.
The pixie has lined up the glasses and all of the cutlery is facing the same way. I threaten divorce as we have heated words in front of the Finish Dishwashing tablet box.
But I think the family court would side with my husband for tolerating more than a decade of dishwasher disrespect.
In the meantime, what a great idea for schools to introduce some life learning lessons into their curriculum. Teaching the kids how to stack a dishwasher would be a stroke of genius if the kids had to pass an exam on the correct way to stack it.