I have often wondered what the root of all evil is, as I suppose have all of us. Is it sex, drugs, rock ‘n’ roll or some other influence on our lives depending on our beliefs?
Well, I think I have found it. It is right outside my front door every morning and every night it seems I can’t escape it.
I love my yard. Well, let me clarify – I love my grass. Not the sort you smoke, but my Sir Walter grass.
It has been a beautiful love affair. Particularly after I got my battery mower and mulcher from Sunshine Coast Mowers, I could actually mow every day in summer if I had time and old mate never got me certified.
This was all good until I noticed this creeping weed that came from the park out front, which has a broad leaf on it and started popping up everywhere.
I sprayed it with a weed and feed concoction that killed everything but the weed (possibly mixed it too strong). So all of sudden my beautiful grass had big dead patches with the only green thing being the weed.
It was then that old mate got involved and said she heard a gardening expert on the radio who she pointed out knew a lot more about this problem than me, that you had to follow the weed until you got to the root.
Old mate even did a bit to prove it worked and it did, so I picked last Sunday in 35-degree heat to have a crack at it.
In her words, I just had to “follow the creeping vine until you get to the root and pull it out, it’s not rocket science”.
What she didn’t explain was the vine is actually strangling the grass, so I ended up pulling out big clumps of grass with it and after about an hour of sweating and swearing, I got a hoe and just dug up everything in a rage.
I then filled it in with potting mix, which mixed with sweat and made me look like a Yowie.
It was a very emotional time and when I finished I couldn’t lift my arms above my shoulders, which I thought was fatigue but in fact was a green ants nest I unearthed that ended up under my shirt.
When I reported in and lifted my shirt I looked like I had been tasered under both arms, much to the delight of old mate, particularly when I told her I felt light-headed?
I will let you know if I have managed to exterminate the root of all evil.