This week’s column is brought to you by a love of wooden spoons.
Every time I see a wooden spoon, I want to stir a big saucepan of spaghetti bolognaise or fold lashings of cream to smother over a strawberry sponge cake.
A simple wooden spoon has quite the dizzying effect on me and makes me feel very nostalgic, bringing back memories of childhood.
The wooden spoon is my favourite of all the kitchen utensils.
A spatula is practical, but boring. A potato masher is reliable, but a pain to clean. A bottle opener is fun (and a necessity), but has no sexy curves. Tongs are clever, but so sterile. A whizy-jigger-thingo is great for smoothies, but resembles making things in a rush.
Give me a cracked and weathered spoon and it speaks to my soul.
For my Christmas gift, I begged my husband to buy me a very expensive wooden spoon from the Witta Markets. It is hand carved with an oil coating. It is the perfect cherry timber colour. It was love at first sight and I knew I needed that spoon in my kitchen.
The hitch? It was $60.
Patient hubby said he could get me a handful of spoons for 10 bucks from those kitchen shops that are always having closing down sales.
I stamped my foot like a two-year-old and insisted on this Witta spoon.
I vowed I would make family feasts with the spoon and it would transform
me into Nigella Lawson.
I opened my gift on Christmas Day and screamed with delight.
The spoon is hanging on a little rail in the kitchen. The problem is, it is so pretty and cost so much that I do not want to use it and I certainly do not want my children using it.
I caught my eight-year-old son using it as a sword and snatched it out of his hand faster than lightning. My other son was using the handle to get a marble out of the fish tank. I nearly hyperventilated.
I am yet to cook a single thing with the damn spoon.
My cheeky family members tease me no end over the spoon that lords over the kitchen. They say it represents me winning the wooden spoon award for being a lousy cook and a big liar as I have not used it once to bake delicious treats.
If they are not careful, I will use that spoon how our parents did when we were kids and give them a tap over their butts.
No, I wouldn’t do that. Not out of fear of being politically incorrect, but because it may damage my precious spoon.
Sami Muirhead is a radio announcer, blogger and commentator. For more from Sami, tune into Mix FM.
