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Ashley Robinson: how a day trip in Bali turned into a comedy drama

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If the creators of “An Idiot Abroad” want to reinvent the series, I have an episode ready to go.

I recently went to Bali for a week, after not being there since February 2020 because of COVID.

Previous to that, I have had about 20 trips to the island, mostly to deal with a family matter, and certainly enough times to learn the language but never have because I am an idiot.

This time around, I decided to get out of the hustle and bustle and head north to Tanah Lot for a few days, to rice paddies and beaches, perfect.

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My little brother Mahoyda took me up there and dropped me off, with his last words being “it won’t rain today” (an important point for later).

It was a really nice spot and the young guy who helped me get sorted mentioned something about the key in the door and I just smiled and nodded thinking I won’t need to lock up out here.

I then went for a 90-minute walk in the blistering heat, only to get back and find that they had locked me out (the key conversation) and there was a 10m fence and massive door that I couldn’t get over.

Everyone had left except for a guy laying tiles who just said “no english” when I tried to talk him into getting over the fence.

He pointed to a door which I knocked on and a cool looking surfie dude came out and I managed to explain my predicament.

He got over the fence without falling in the pool and proved to me that I would have had no chance and would have been sleeping in the driveway (important later).

He reluctantly took $10 from me and left laughing.

I then decided to go out on my scooter to get something to eat just on dusk.

I took the door key but no underpants or phone.

I rode for about 3km and it started raining, in fact pouring, so I pulled under a shelter on the side of the road.

Monsoon season in Bali can bring torrential rain. Picture: Shutterstock.

Electrical storm and monsoon rain, I was under there for about 70 minutes as the storm raged. I was joined by about six other locals on scooters with lots of giggling about the weather.

It just kept pouring so eventually I decided to head back, whichever way that was as everything looked completely different in a monsoon when it was pitch black except for the lightning.

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‘Do I turn this way or that?’ I thought.

‘I didn’t remember seeing that building or that two feet of water over the road.

‘What if I can’t find my way back?

‘I have no phone, no undies, and I am saturated.

‘Where am I going to sleep?’

Thankfully, by pure luck, I found my digs, after a few prayers and a couple of curses regarding Mahoyda’s weather knowledge?

Footnote – the surfer dude who didn’t want to take my money owned the villa I found out the next day.

‘An Idiot Abroad’ Season 22 has plenty of material.

Ashley Robinson is a columnist with Sunshine Coast News and My Weekly Preview. His views are his own.

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