There are countless seemingly harmless things others do that can trigger strong reactions. And while it is one thing to be annoyed by someone doing something that affects you – such as walking slowly in front, conversing on speaker phone in a shared space or vaping or smoking in your vicinity – sometimes people get wild and wired about behaviours that have absolutely no effect on their life.
Pet-peeve lists are a favourite of publications such as The New York Times, Reddit and BuzzFeed because they are a way to rile and rally readers.
A person is pushing a stroller with a dog in it. A woman has visible underarm hair. A person utters a particular word. A parent lets their little boy grow his hair or a person has a lot of facial piercings.
The response can be visceral and vicious. Incredulity. Shock. And sometimes that spills over into words out loud or in a social media post. Our irritation may be primal, with science showing if we are in basic needs deficit – we are hungry, tired or have a health imbalance – we are more likely to get peeved by something that has no sway on our day.
But accumulated stress can play a part, too, and that can result in misappropriated upset. And we all have a perceived expectation of how the world should behave and can get our cranky pants on when it doesn’t. Social media gives every person a voice to the world and it is there that pet peeves proliferate.
People can get annoyed when another uses the word ‘moist’, when they leave a shop without buying anything, or a picture on someone else’s wall is crooked. Try sliding someone’s bag over in a plane’s overhead locker so you can fit yours in and watch them spin.
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Why do others find it so objectionable when a person reveals they do not like sushi, or that they are vegetarian, or for some sure-fire bang – vegan? Why does the view of a person change on learning they have never seen or read Games of Thrones or Harry Potter? Watch others rise at the revelation a person doesn’t want to have children or doesn’t ever want to marry.
Getting riled up over something, which has no personal effect says more about the irritated than the irritation.
Particularly peeved people just need to live and let live.
Dr Jane Stephens is a UniSC journalism lecturer, media commentator and writer.
