They say lightning cannot strike twice. Well, I just returned from a very embarrassing stint in Fiji where I copped a bunch of stitches to my head after falling out of a hammock.
The wood beam at the end of it whacked me on the head. I think I was too curvy for the thing to hold me, once my kids started piling in to rob me of my peace and quiet. But, you see, the strange thing of it all was the fact it was the second time in three months that I received stitches to my head on that tiny island.
My family and I were in Fiji three months ago when I fell off a wobbly banana boat at speed and I needed stitches to my chin. I had a bad concussion and a bruised face from hitting the water so hard. Nurse Mela had to be fetched by a small fishing boat from another island. She told me very calmly that the clinic had run out of anaesthetic: the stitches may sting a little.
It actually hurt like hell, even in my concussed state. It also took an hour to do the stitches as everyone was on ‘Fiji time’ and many of the staff were coming for a look at the stupid, 1.8m tall white woman who somehow fell off the inflatable fun raft and bashed herself quite badly in the process.
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But falling off the banana boat was not all bad news: the island staff gave us a deal to come back that was so good, we could not refuse. That is how I ended up lying on the ground beneath the swinging hammock and needing Nurse Mela to patch me up as blood poured down my face. Again.
Yes, I had a few sips of kava and a few wines at dinner, and I thought I would lean into the tropical island vibe and have a little swing under the palm trees in a peaceful cocoon. I was kidding myself that I was channelling the hammock scene from The African Queen with Humphrey Bogart and Katharine Hepburn. I think I channelled Godzilla meeting King Kong instead.
Some of us are just accident prone, and I am one of those people. When we were kids, mum bought my brother and sister a skateboard one Christmas. I received knee pads, elbow pads and a helmet. Not a skateboard. I was devastated. But I have spent my life breaking bones and getting all sorts of strange cuts and bruises.
My goal this year is to avoid sitting in or on anything that moves. Perhaps I should avoid kava as well.
Sami Muirhead is a (now semi-retired) radio announcer, blogger and commentator, wife and mum of three.
