Just when you thought our world could not get any crazier, debate has erupted again over where to store the tomato sauce.
I do not think the debate itself is crazy. I think the verdict is totally bonkers. It is the conversation that simply will not go away.
I think the hierarchy at Heinz has lost the plot.
The company has revealed the correct way to store tomato sauce is in the fridge.
The official Heinz United Kingdom Twitter account shared: “FYI: Ketchup goes in the fridge!”
The first insult, and massive fault, in this ridiculous statement is calling condiment ‘ketchup’.
But my blood pressure cannot take that debate, so let’s focus on the storage war.
We keep our tomato sauce in the pantry because who wants to put cold sauce on hot meat pies? Because who wants hot chips with cold sauce?
Because we are civilised humans and not animals.
Because it is where it belongs.
My grandmother lived to 90 and she always kept tomato sauce in the cupboard.
A bit of mould never bothered my granny because she was a great human being.
My mother raised three kids all by herself and can kill six cane toads in one night before teatime.
And she stores sauce in the pantry because she is a wise woman.
Who are these morons who keep sauce in their fridge because they are being held to ransom by cockroaches and other bugs?
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Toughen up, people!
Use the force of the room temperature storage and forget the fridge.
One former friend (we broke up over this issue) claims if you leave the sauce in the pantry, it loses its nutritional value over time.
Well, babes, I hate to break this to you, but I think there is zero nutritional value in tommy sauce.
But there is plenty of mental health value in covering your food in it.
The only time I can make an exception to this rule and leave the sauce in the fridge is if the appliance is unplugged.
The end.
Sami Muirhead is a radio announcer, blogger and commentator. For more from Sami, tune into Mix FM.
