PEOPLE often ask me if their problematic drinking, drug use or gambling means they are an addict. For me, it is not so much whether someone is an addict that is important. It is more whether their behaviour is causing problems for themselves or other people. If it is coming at a cost to their well-being, finances or their relationships, it is important enough to do something about it.
Such people are faced with a range of choices. One of these is whether to attempt to moderate their behaviour or to stop drinking altogether. Some problematic drinkers are eventually able to return to drinking in moderation. However, for many it appears that once their habit has reached a certain level, they will need to avoid drinking alcohol for the rest of their life. Even for those who are able to return to controlled drinking, it often helps to stop drinking for a period of time to help them break out of their unwanted pattern and address any important issues which may be contributing. The drinking may be a symptom of an issue that is even more important to be dealt with. For example, many people drink to cope with the frustration of a challenging relationship or due to living their life out-of-balance for too long.
It is worth reviewing these periods when the problem was not occurring or it was occurring less, and to note what they were doing and thinking that helped. This may have been through keeping busy, relaxing more, pursuing an interest, confiding in others, exercising, involvement in a self-help program of some sort, or thinking of all the negatives associated with their problematic behaviour. I always recommend that people do more of what has already worked for them before, provided it does not cause problems for themselves or others.
Even small changes can often be helpful. Some people find it helps to substitute every second drink with a non-alcoholic drink. Some people with gambling problems find it helps to only take a certain amount of money they can afford to lose or to leave their ATM cards at home. Or they change what they normally do during that time of the day when they would normally engage in their problematic behaviour – instead of drinking/using drugs/gambling they exercise, ring up a supportive friend, or even clean the house. Others find it helps just by accepting the urge, seeing it as a passing thought, and not acting on it – saying to themselves, “Just for today, I will not act on this urge”. See the nature of urges in perspective. They may be very uncomfortable and distressing, but not necessarily excruciating or unbearable.
I always recommend an assessment by a doctor or naturopath to gain their opinion on any medical conditions which may be contributing as well as their recommendations for treatment. Over recent years, there have been developed some new treatments which appear helpful for many people. Counselling can also be helpful in providing support, working through issues which may be contributing to the problematic behaviour and in giving practical strategies to break away from the unwanted patterns.
Ken Warren is a leading professional counsellor. Check out his website
www.kenwarren.com.au to download his free e-books on developing greater happiness in your life.
